Doug's Sounding Board

Archive for the 'Funny!' Category


Tainted coke

I just learned that 3 people in the U.S. and Canada have died from cocaine laced with Levasole (levamisole hydrochloride). It’s a livestock deworming drug that is estimated to contaminate one third of the cocaine supply. Stay safe people! Only use organic, fair-trade cocaine.


A different primary

Yesterday a different contest popped into my head, one between Brocolli Obama and Celery Clinton. I was surprised to find no reference to it on the internets.


Why I’m not in marketing…

Nicole was telling me about a product called Scargo which is a combination of oils to help scar tissue. My first thought was that the logo should be a snail, followed by the thought that it should come in a snail dispenser that you rub over your skin leaving a trail of the stuff for […]


Today I used a semi-colon

During the past few months, when writing, I’ve had an urge to use a semi-colon. I resist and tell myself that it really doesn’t know what it wants and restructure things so that no semi-colon is possible. I don’t know where the urge comes from. I’ve read the rules on when they should be used […]


I guess I could be an airline pilot…

From Overheard in New York: Pilot: Why, hello, everyone! This is your captain, Bud Howard, and your copilot, Harvey the Rabbit. The FCC or FCA… Some fancy organization told me to tell you that I have to show you a very low-budget and entertaining movie on how to act on a United flight. Basically, if […]


Why I’m not an airline pilot…

“Thank you for flying ______ Airlines. I hope you enjoyed the in-flight movie, I know I sure did!”


Why I don’t design cruise ships…

See that windowed deck/bar that goes across the front and hangs over the sides some? I’d put a moving red light in there to make it an ocean cylon or an ocean Knight Rider.


Long time

The road the crosses the yacht harbor from 7th Avenue and continuing past where it turns into San Lorenzo as it goes by the Boardwalk is being repaved, which is fantastic news. On either side they have the electronic displays explaining that between the dates shown there will be delays. On the 7th Avenue side […]


My first Wii injury

My boss, who is about to leave, used to develop video games and he wanted to see the Wii, so I brought it in this morning so he could try it out. He was having fun with tennis and then he wanted me to demonstrate bowling. I was careful to avoid the conference room table, […]


Weird Al – Straight Outta Lynwood

Yay! Nicole got me the new Weird Al album! Those reading might think it’s strange that I didn’t have it before yesterday but from September through the end of the year I don’t buy anything. That way when people ask what I might like as a gift I don’t have to say “I dunno” because […]

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